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| photo by Sean McCormick as shared @ One Shoot Sunday |
I welcome you in from the night's rain,
Unto my floors do come, where lies grain,
Stacked about, turned out layered by stain,
Please, I welcome you in from the night's rain.
Built on staddle stones, shaped like mushrooms,
Heating naturally, this be thy rooms,
Forming moisture, your grain will be doom,
Forth right here within, I will it entomb.
But listen to my music, dance all,
Lineage comes from under the wall,
Shadows dancing, did you hear 'em call,
Lineage comes, on the floor must crawl.
I welcome you in from the night's rain,
Unto my floors do come, where lies grain,
Stacked about, turned out, covered thy stain,
Please, I welcome you in from the night's rain.
Petrina Lesko
February 2011
Thank you Sean for a fantastic photo (you can see more of his fabulous work @ http://www.neutralhillsstills.ca/index.php). And thank you One Stop Poetry for another inspirational photo prompt here at One Shoot Sunday.
27 comments:
Kind of has a middle English flair to it in some of the word choice and syntactic structure. And I agree with you, it Sean's image does have an eerie look about it. Cool response. Thanks for taking the challenge!
I agree with Adam about the 'English flair and syntactic structure'. I didn't just read it but had to recite it. Your lines compelled me to and it felt great. Thanks, Petrina for a nice shot!
I like the cyclic feel you have created with the repetition and rhyme. This poem has a warm and inviting mood. I read it as a dramatic monologue of the barn itself, welcoming the weary traveller indoors.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
Monorhyming stanza's I like a lot! It complements the photograph very well indeed!
Yes this was beautiful to read, nicely put
this has a bit of the feeling of the song "hotel california" - haunting..
this has a great feel to it. i agree on the hotel california feeling....very cool...
I agree with Dustus when he wrote that it has "Kind of a middle English flair to it". This poem has a magical feeling to it. Farmer America vs Norse Viking poetry. I LOVED it ! Good work.
I agree with Brian, I felt the Hotel Californa vibe in this too... Very nice !
Love the form. It is an "inviting" poem of dancing with the floorboard shadows. "lineage comes from under the wall" Nice.
Ooo, haunted granary indeed! I'm not stepping a foot in that enchanted tomb. I'll venture the rain. ;) Wonderful rhythm and great use of repetition. I agree, this one is meant to be recited!
Yeah! It does have a Hotel California feel to it.
Story well told.
Louise G
Very lovely.
Wonderful read, and like mentioned above, to read it aloud really brings it to life. Bravo!
Wonderful, just wonderful! Such a spectacular piece to accompany the image. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Nice rhythm and rhyme, I found it haunting in the repetition....agreed wonderful reading aloud...bkm
This is a beautifully written work of art and the photo, amazing!
Wow.. really liked the language used in this one! Had a rustic charm to it...
Lovely imagery too!
A very apt response to this eye-catching photograph!
I think we can all see those shadows dancing here. Nice one.
Wow that photo is cool. It looks like a painting. What a nice homage to rain!
Impressive word-smithing and truly captures the mood of the photograph.
A stunning poem!
kind of hypnotic and inviting with the repetition. Very enjoyable :)
Ooh, I love the darkness threading through this..like a Siren Song..I would come into that room..great use of repetition..thanks for paying a visit to my 'room' too! Jae
Love this photo for the post! So pretty to look at! Lovely work! Sometimes we all need to be welcomed in from a night's rain. :o)
Live the image "Lineage comes from under the wall." Nice!
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