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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Night's Rain - Updated



photo by Sean McCormick
as shared @ One Shoot Sunday
Night's Rain

I welcome you in from the night's rain,
Unto my floors do come, where lies grain,
Stacked about, turned out layered by stain,
Please, I welcome you in from the night's rain.

Built on staddle stones, shaped like mushrooms,
Heating naturally, this be thy rooms,
Forming moisture, your grain will be doom,
Forth right here within, I will it entomb.

But listen to my music, dance all,
Lineage comes from under the wall,
Shadows dancing, did you hear 'em call,
Lineage comes, on the floor must crawl.

I welcome you in from the night's rain,
Unto my floors do come, where lies grain,
Stacked about, turned out, covered thy stain,
Please, I welcome you in from the night's rain.

Petrina Lesko
February 2011

Thank you Sean for a fantastic photo (you can see more of his fabulous work @ http://www.neutralhillsstills.ca/index.php).   And thank you One Stop Poetry for another inspirational photo prompt here at One Shoot Sunday.

28 comments:

dustus said...

Kind of has a middle English flair to it in some of the word choice and syntactic structure. And I agree with you, it Sean's image does have an eerie look about it. Cool response. Thanks for taking the challenge!

Alegria Imperial said...

I agree with Adam about the 'English flair and syntactic structure'. I didn't just read it but had to recite it. Your lines compelled me to and it felt great. Thanks, Petrina for a nice shot!

Kerry O'Connor said...

I like the cyclic feel you have created with the repetition and rhyme. This poem has a warm and inviting mood. I read it as a dramatic monologue of the barn itself, welcoming the weary traveller indoors.

ACEBiggaveli said...

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

repressedsoul said...

Monorhyming stanza's I like a lot! It complements the photograph very well indeed!

Kodjo Deynoo. said...

Yes this was beautiful to read, nicely put

Claudia said...

this has a bit of the feeling of the song "hotel california" - haunting..

Brian Miller said...

this has a great feel to it. i agree on the hotel california feeling....very cool...

Costis Demos said...

I agree with Dustus when he wrote that it has "Kind of a middle English flair to it". This poem has a magical feeling to it. Farmer America vs Norse Viking poetry. I LOVED it ! Good work.

JL Dodge said...

I agree with Brian, I felt the Hotel Californa vibe in this too... Very nice !

Jerry said...

Love the form. It is an "inviting" poem of dancing with the floorboard shadows. "lineage comes from under the wall" Nice.

Ami Mattison said...

Ooo, haunted granary indeed! I'm not stepping a foot in that enchanted tomb. I'll venture the rain. ;) Wonderful rhythm and great use of repetition. I agree, this one is meant to be recited!

Mama Zen said...

This is gorgeous!

M.L. Gallagher said...

Yeah! It does have a Hotel California feel to it.

Story well told.

Louise G

Gigi Ann said...

Very lovely.

Natasha said...

Wonderful read, and like mentioned above, to read it aloud really brings it to life. Bravo!

JackAZ Photography said...

Wonderful, just wonderful! Such a spectacular piece to accompany the image. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

signed...bkm said...

Nice rhythm and rhyme, I found it haunting in the repetition....agreed wonderful reading aloud...bkm

Geraldine said...

This is a beautifully written work of art and the photo, amazing!

Kavita said...

Wow.. really liked the language used in this one! Had a rustic charm to it...

Lovely imagery too!
A very apt response to this eye-catching photograph!

Glynn said...

I think we can all see those shadows dancing here. Nice one.

Sacred Art Studio said...

Wow that photo is cool. It looks like a painting. What a nice homage to rain!

Jennifer Noel Bower said...

Impressive word-smithing and truly captures the mood of the photograph.

Jane Doe said...

A stunning poem!

Caty said...

kind of hypnotic and inviting with the repetition. Very enjoyable :)

jaerose said...

Ooh, I love the darkness threading through this..like a Siren Song..I would come into that room..great use of repetition..thanks for paying a visit to my 'room' too! Jae

Girl in My Own World said...

Love this photo for the post! So pretty to look at! Lovely work! Sometimes we all need to be welcomed in from a night's rain. :o)

the redhead said...

Live the image "Lineage comes from under the wall." Nice!