In Hopes...

As the day becomes night, the sun falling
beyond hills, gentle breezes grace my skin,
the leaves dancing against the dim colours.

The slight glimpse, feeling you just to my right,
I find myself turning, believing for...
just for an instant, I begin to share.

Realizing the cliche rising beyond,
wanting just this once to tell you my day,
knowing 'God needed you more than I did.'

Still, as the moments flash memories here,
I am drawn to sharing my special thought,
Just one more time, if only it could be.

The years of travelling through life's journey,
all the unanswered questions collecting,
yet the mind knows, 'It was your time to go.'

But the heart still feels, a breeze touches my cheek,
and still from the corner of my eye, I...
well up, ready to ask, to share this thought.

Yet I know this cannot happen, not now,
reason begins its climb, reaching summits,
telling me you are not here, not really...

Yet somehow, a calmness envelopes me,
my breathing slows, contentment of my heart
knows... knows that somehow you were listening.

Somehow, though I can not see your eyes tear,
still the embrace, comforts as you once did,
celebrates those special moments, in hopes...

Petrina Lesko
May 2011

A couple of weeks ago would have marked the 27th year since my mother passed on to better things... a better place.  With Mother's Day being just around the corner (and it landing on her birthday as it often did), I have found myself deeply engrossed in thoughts of her... of all the things and the time that we missed out on.  Over the years, periodically, as I'm sure most of us do when we miss someone dearly, I have wanted to share special moments in my day.  Or ask that all important question... and have found myself turning to speak to her, then reality strikes like a lightening bolt, reminding me she is gone.

This year has been a very exciting year for me.   It's been almost eleven months of a very strong, empowering experience here in blog land.  With each post, a little voice asks, 'Where would her red marks be?  What would she tell me to phrase differently?'   She was an English Major in college... smiles... I can remember as a child, her even taking red pen to our shopping lists and correcting our grammar.  At the time, I was not very impressed, but boy do I miss it now!  One of my posts, a poem from back a bit (find it here ), was actually a rewrite of a short story she had written in college for the school magazine.  (I wrote it from the child's perspective as it was a true story based on a very difficult decision she was faced with making.)  Now, being that the writer in me has been so prolific for quite a while, probably one of the most profound questions I find myself pondering... 'Would she truly like what I have written?  What would she have thought of my poetic version of her story?'  Then when moments become calm, and my heart stills for a bit, I know that since I knew her, I know already... what she would think.  But now, as an active writer, I sure do miss the Editor, always available to teach...

So hopefully you all don't mind my sharing this, but...  this one's for you Mom.  Happy Mother's Day, Happy Birthday!  I write this in hopes...  that you truly like it...

Follow this link to read other wonderful poetry posted for One Shot Wednesday over at One Stop Poetry.