Over at Jingle Poetry the theme this week for Monday's Poetry Potluck is "Doubts, Fears, Inhibitions and Hesitations"... These doubts and fears that have formed from our past experiences seem to smolder in the distance, always there, waiting to spark the wildfire to desimate all that is within its grasp. I was working on my piece for this week's Potluck when I came across this fabulous prompt by Tess over at Magpie Tales. I couldn't help but grasp it and combine for both prompts.
Like Whispers Upon Ears
Today... you walked a while with me,
Darkness comes all too soon to dare,
For in the night, where is the shore.
Explorations curbed, this will be,
Hand in hand, alas we could dare,
Stepping along the path to see,
I knew your steps as you knew mine,
Like old friends joined, together share,
Today... you walked a while with me.
Petrina Lesko
May 2011
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| Smoldering Fires, Clarence Holbrook Carter, 1904-2000 Columbus Museum of Art as shared at Magpie Tales #64 |
Today... you walked a while with me,
Like old friends joined, together share,
I knew your steps as you knew mine,Stepping along the path to see,
Hand in hand, alas we could dare.
The path familiar, took a turn,
For a moment we paused to look,Stay on the path, follow the sign,
Eager to explore, more to learn,
In the distance, I heard the brook.
Desires to try within me burn,
Like wildfires in the distance know,
Come, let's go back, we will dine,The water flows free 'on the turn,
Caressing the rocks just for show.
As the flow dropped, falling right there,
I longed to go forth, journey more,
Step forth, be you lost in the pine,Darkness comes all too soon to dare,
For in the night, where is the shore.
Explorations curbed, this will be,
Moments unsure instilled my friend,
Like whispers upon ears of mine,
Words carry forth your doubts for me,
Deterring strength for journey's end.Hand in hand, alas we could dare,
Stepping along the path to see,
I knew your steps as you knew mine,
Like old friends joined, together share,
Today... you walked a while with me.
Petrina Lesko
May 2011
34 comments:
What a beautiful write, Petrina.
that's a very good idea combining the two!
a lovely write!
what is this form called? I noticed you have the third line of every stanza highlighted.
also...thank you for your visit and comment
That brought tears to my eyes. Not easy to shut down my inner editor and move me on that level. Great poem.
'I knew your steps as you knew mine'
Loved the sentiment and tenderness in this delightful poem.
Thank you all for your reflections of this poem. It is your feedback which feeds my desire to share.
Hope, I'm not sure that it is a 'known' form. I try to write in rhyme and meter, the fundamentals seem to be my comfort zone. The middle line of each stanza, highlighted if you will, were intended as the 'whispers upon ears' that I so often experience, the doubts that fit, but not quite, tempting my hesitations in my journey through life.
Jacqui, thank you. Your share also sparked in me, touching upon reflections of a very special person, one who being the ultimate caregiver, did not give in during her darkest hour until she knew her 'flock' was safe from harms way. Alas, the firm foundation for many whom were blessed to know her.
This was beautifully written (I like rhyme and meter)...and seems very personal and introspective. It really is very good. Vb
Eager to explore, more to learn,
In the distance, I heard the brook...
I like that line. Reminds me of a hike my daughters and I took in the Appalachian Mts. Darkness was approaching and we kept saying "but we can hear the waterfall"... but every turn disappointed us. We had to turn back.
you and I had the similar idea-yours is a lovely write.
Nice poem. I especially liked the the painting, Smoldering Fires, by Carter. -- barbara
This is beautiful and I love the poetic form you used here. A delightful read.
this is an enjoyable read about love, true friendship and sharing :) Thanks for this positive message.
Enjoy the potluck!
Here is mine: http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/
walking a while with you is cool.
you are a friendly soul.
keep it up.
A++
I like I knew your steps as you know mine. This is a lovely response to two prompts!
very beautiful poem describing a priceless journey!
Petrina, first thank you for dropping by my blog. Glad you did because upon pitching my tent here I felt so good witnessing your talent. You write so well!
What a beautiful comforting n assuring piece! It feels so nice in this scorching summer afternoon!
I feel enchanted already
Hugs xox
flawless,,
incredible,,
Pure loveliness.
'today you walked a mile with me' ... lovely!
First and last- just wonderful, very lovely poem!
lovely poem and I took few step with u :)))
this is such a melodic and heartfelt piece. it touched me. thank you.
Luna
So beautiful.."for in the night, where is the shore"? Wonderful line..
Amazing talent.
A lovely hopeful poem. Well done!
Thank you for sharing deep feelings and small mysteries in your Magpie Tale. Beautiful.
Gentle. Like a mild fragrance, like the softness of a petal and the velvet feel of water running through your fingers. This what you poem reminded me of. Lovely.
Cheers
Padmavani
"Hand in hand, alas we could dare,
Stepping along the path to see,
I knew your steps as you knew mine,
Like old friends joined, together share,
Today... you walked a while with me."
Beautifully written!
Very interesting story and well written. I particularly like the way the rhyme flowed.
Lovely write!
Good read, nice wraparound finish
A beautiful journey indeed! :-)
Gorgeous. Thank you.
well written. I like the images you created.
my potluck post was here
http://blackswanpoetry.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/poem-flexed/
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