I posted this poem almost 9 months ago, when I was a bit closer to a situation that freed this poem from deep within. It had been waiting years to be written. Now that I have been able to put some time and distance from its words, I would love to have some honest critique of its expression. Today, over at dVerse Poets Pub is this weeks Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft. I think this poem really seems to fit the topic and would love the input on its form. I've done a couple of slight tweeks already... Hope you all don't mind another share of this one.
Somewhere in the darkness of the night,
should I answer, could this be the day,
that wonderful day when you just might,
might be standing beyond the doorway...
The phone ringing, please let it be you,
'Unknown Caller' across the display,
my heart in my throat, skips a beat too,
if only someone, somewhere would say...
The news that you have been waiting for,
I called, saw him earlier today,
it was here in town, down by the store,
he asked to see you, if not he may...
Elusive remains, mysteries too,
what happened on that long ago day,
everyone searching, looking for you,
at a distance, I guess you must stay...
One day, somewhere in time, I will know,
whether or not, that you are okay,
for now my heart breaks, I can not show,
always to wonder, where do you lay...
Hoping and praying, this I must do,
searching myself to find a new way,
wondering always, could that be you,beheld in my heart, always this day.